Olive garden planned for farmland on Sheboygan’s south side

“The community has been asking for this for a long time and were very excited to start growing our very own olives right here in Sheboygan,” said the land owner Kurt Dayton. “It’s a no-brainer since we know the community isn’t dumb enough to be begging for a restaurant that serves microwave pasta dishes at 1000%+ markup when we already have some of the best, locally owned, Italian restaurants in the country.”

SASD Board announces willingness to ignore science as long as a few parents act like petulant children

“Yes we’re aware that the delta variant is sending more kids to the hospital and we’re aware that universal masking does indeed work. We’re willing to ignore those facts and risk the death of a kid or two if it means we won’t have to listen to a bunch of sleeveless-shirt wearing dads and Karen-cut moms bellyache all year,” said a spokesperson for the school board in a press release.