Sheboygan Depress (https://sheboygandepress.com/author/fhaack/)
Residents of Wisconsin will have to wait until the next protest or natural disaster to get their free goods, as the smoke cleared early Friday morning. Quoting an anonymous resident: “I was looking forward to a new TV, looks like we’ll just have to wait a week or two for the next climate disaster, pandemic, or police involved shooting.”
Released as a test item in Sheboygan, Culver’s rolled out a new Peanut Butter, Bacon and Jelly burger this week. Reviews are coming back as “Too much flavor” and “Why mess up a good thing with all this nonsense?” The midwest fast food chain is still trying to decide if Sheboygan’s taste buds are to be trusted. Have you tried this? or are you a normal human being?
“Hot enough for ya?” Heard throughout Wisconsin streets as residents rejoice at the ability to complain together about the “High” temperatures Wisconsin summers bring. Fears rise as a 60-degree day is on the horizon and residents will need to find other things to complain about.
Sheboygan residents worried as local family owned bar didn’t open Monday morning. Upon investigation, the family who runs the bar was found dehydrated at the home of “Uncle Bob” who was still telling his story about the deer he shot 10 years ago as everyone was wheeled out and sent to Froedert. The bar is looking to be re-opened by the weekend.