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Trump Considers Next Move: After Proving Supporters Aren’t Garbage with Garbage Man Look, Could a Hitler Costume Prove They Aren’t Nazis?

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After his successful garbage man stunt, Trump hinted at his next bold move during his latest rally. “You know, folks, they said we were garbage, garbage!, and I showed them, didn’t I? Best garbage man costume you’ve ever seen. Huge success, tremendous! Now they’re saying ‘Nazis’! Can you believe it? But, I’m thinking… maybe I dress like this Hitler guy, and boom! No more Nazis, folks, no more. It’ll be big, just huge proof!”

News

A not-so-silent night in Sheboygan: Santa’s helper stuck in power plant chimney over Christmas holiday.

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Santa revealed that the incessant noise from the Edgewater power plant was due to one of his helpers getting stuck in the chimney. ‘He was just stopping by to pick up coal for the naughty kids,’ Santa explained with a chuckle. ‘We’ve docked his pay and put him on unpaid leave for the disturbance,’ he said, after the relentless drone that disturbed Sheboygan’s peace was silenced early on December 26th

News

Future Headline: Former city official ‘tricked’ by federal judge into repeating racial slur

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From some time in 2024: “As part of city officials’ vast plot the federal judge tricked me into saying it again by asking me to recount the event,” Pelishek declared, “I’m certain they’re trying to tarnish my reputation to get their hands on my secret cache of vintage Dunkaroos. Everyone knows those snack treats are the true power behind city planning!”

News

Smoke clears in the Midwest just as people get ready to loot

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Residents of Wisconsin will have to wait until the next protest or natural disaster to get their free goods, as the smoke cleared early Friday morning. Quoting an anonymous resident: “I was looking forward to a new TV, looks like we’ll just have to wait a week or two for the next climate disaster, pandemic, or police involved shooting.”

News

Culver’s new PB&J Burger too much flavor for Sheboygan

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Released as a test item in Sheboygan, Culver’s rolled out a new Peanut Butter, Bacon and Jelly burger this week. Reviews are coming back as “Too much flavor” and “Why mess up a good thing with all this nonsense?” The midwest fast food chain is still trying to decide if Sheboygan’s taste buds are to be trusted. Have you tried this? or are you a normal human being?

News

Wildfire haze in Sheboygan triggers fond memories of smoke-filled taverns

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“I haven’t inhaled air this smoky since my regular Friday nights at Burp’s. It’s such a potent reminder of my younger days,” muses Dorothy Kowalski, of Sheboygan. “These young folks with their clean-air bars, they just don’t know what they’re missing. There’s a certain charm in coming home with your hair and clothes steeped in the scent of an active, bustling night.”

News

A not-so-silent night in Sheboygan: Santa’s helper stuck in power plant chimney over Christmas holiday.

By |

Santa revealed that the incessant noise from the Edgewater power plant was due to one of his helpers getting stuck in the chimney. ‘He was just stopping by to pick up coal for the naughty kids,’ Santa explained with a chuckle. ‘We’ve docked his pay and put him on unpaid leave for the disturbance,’ he said, after the relentless drone that disturbed Sheboygan’s peace was silenced early on December 26th

News

Future Headline: Former city official ‘tricked’ by federal judge into repeating racial slur

By |

From some time in 2024: “As part of city officials’ vast plot the federal judge tricked me into saying it again by asking me to recount the event,” Pelishek declared, “I’m certain they’re trying to tarnish my reputation to get their hands on my secret cache of vintage Dunkaroos. Everyone knows those snack treats are the true power behind city planning!”

News

Smoke clears in the Midwest just as people get ready to loot

By |

Residents of Wisconsin will have to wait until the next protest or natural disaster to get their free goods, as the smoke cleared early Friday morning. Quoting an anonymous resident: “I was looking forward to a new TV, looks like we’ll just have to wait a week or two for the next climate disaster, pandemic, or police involved shooting.”

News

Culver’s new PB&J Burger too much flavor for Sheboygan

By |

Released as a test item in Sheboygan, Culver’s rolled out a new Peanut Butter, Bacon and Jelly burger this week. Reviews are coming back as “Too much flavor” and “Why mess up a good thing with all this nonsense?” The midwest fast food chain is still trying to decide if Sheboygan’s taste buds are to be trusted. Have you tried this? or are you a normal human being?

News

Wildfire haze in Sheboygan triggers fond memories of smoke-filled taverns

By |

“I haven’t inhaled air this smoky since my regular Friday nights at Burp’s. It’s such a potent reminder of my younger days,” muses Dorothy Kowalski, of Sheboygan. “These young folks with their clean-air bars, they just don’t know what they’re missing. There’s a certain charm in coming home with your hair and clothes steeped in the scent of an active, bustling night.”