Sheboygan Depress (https://sheboygandepress.com/author/sheboygandepress_3mrfo5/page/6/)
“Like the new hospital and, well, basically all of Deer Trace, we think its important that we ensure Kohler continues to expand their tax base,” said city planner Brad Belichick. “So hopefully we can fuck this up so they can have it. We’ll be excitingly awaiting the next housing development.”
“While it’s something that would never happen with the past generations, the people and things that seem to be getting cancelled are in someway harmful to others,” said Pee-Wee’s star and creator Paul Reubens. “It’s not as if they are canceling people doing something viewed as deviant in an age-restricted and appropriate environment. If that were the case I could understand the outrage.”
“People need to really think about what kind of random shit they put in their bodies,” said Liam O’Toole before throwing back his third “Irish slammer” of the morning.
“This type of overreach is absolutely unacceptable,” said assembly speaker Robin Vos. “We plan to take this to the supreme court.”
“I spaced on the deadline, but my daughter was excited that daddy was designing a mail truck. She was drawing them non-stop,” said Oshkosh Defense designer, John Marks. “I quickly modeled and rendered one of them thinking they’d never award us the contract… I am not very popular with the engineering department right now.”
“I just wanted a better life for my kids,” said the man after returning to his shit-hole country.
“He makes racist, xenophobic, sexist, and homophobic statements that he plays off as jokes, and he blames most of America’s problems on ‘socialist, communist, Marxist liberals’, or Hillary Clinton,” said Midwest Communications CEO, Joe Goebbels III. “Due to years of Limbaugh’s amazing work, our listeners are incapable of independent thought, so we doubt they’ll even notice.”
“Its been absolutely gorgeous here!” said Katie Brooks of Random Lake. “I haven’t had to run out to the car and sit in it yelling swear words due to below zero windchill temperatures once!”
“This type of unilateral action by the President is unacceptable,” said insurrection supporter and shit fountain, Senator Ron Johnson. “This kind of blatant power-up grab should not be tolerated regardless of which party holds the presidency. Both House and Senate GOP leadership must begin investigating this disgusting act immediately.”
“After extensive research we’ve concluded that witch’s tits fall in the same average range as other human breasts,” said Dr. Krista Lee. “So it actually sets a terrible baseline of 94.5 F, on average, for being cold.”