Recent Stories

South High bans internet after finding banned books extremely easy to get online

“It was surprisingly easy to find these books online,” said the power drunk principal. “Both ‘Fun Home’ and ‘Are You My Mother?’ are legally available to be checked out with a quick search on archive.org and we found ‘Gender Queer: A Memoir’ by simply typing the book’s title along with ‘ getcomics.info’ into google. That’s just unacceptable, so I had to pull the plug on the internet to keep our kids safe.”

Experts predict high chance of snow related small talk in coming days

“As the possibility of snow approaches, people are already starting to stockpile their go-to snow storm related complaints and conversation starters,” explained linguistics expert Dr. John Brown. He warns that it could become difficult to travel anywhere without running into some snow related discussion and recommends staying in if at all possible.

WHBL recognized with Shirley R. Fuller-Witt Journalistic Lion award

The Award from the Depress Institute honors the lack of journalistic integrity displayed in WHBL’s Nov. 8th coverage of City Administrator Todd Wolf being placed on on leave. “At first we were worried that someone else had started writing satire,” said the Depress Institute’s Chair and only member, Chaz Cole. “Spreading wild conspiracy theories of a diversity group being capable of quietly orchestrating Wolf’s failures to get him suspended would be hilarious as satire, but to do it with a straight face… kudos. Enjoy your, well earned, award.”

Opinion: School closures due to winter weather unnecessary and harmful

We’ve already determined that schools are holding facilities for kids while their parents work to scrape by serving the economy so Jeff Bezos can continue to afford to build dick rockets. We literally can’t afford to close for the day and statistically speaking less than 1% of kids will die in auto accidents if we open. Big whoop. If you’re scared stay home, but we need to consider the dick rockets.

Olive garden planned for farmland on Sheboygan’s south side

“The community has been asking for this for a long time and were very excited to start growing our very own olives right here in Sheboygan,” said the land owner Kurt Dayton. “It’s a no-brainer since we know the community isn’t dumb enough to be begging for a restaurant that serves microwave pasta dishes at 1000%+ markup when we already have some of the best, locally owned, Italian restaurants in the country.”

South High bans internet after finding banned books extremely easy to get online

“It was surprisingly easy to find these books online,” said the power drunk principal. “Both ‘Fun Home’ and ‘Are You My Mother?’ are legally available to be checked out with a quick search on archive.org and we found ‘Gender Queer: A Memoir’ by simply typing the book’s title along with ‘ getcomics.info’ into google. That’s just unacceptable, so I had to pull the plug on the internet to keep our kids safe.”

Experts predict high chance of snow related small talk in coming days

“As the possibility of snow approaches, people are already starting to stockpile their go-to snow storm related complaints and conversation starters,” explained linguistics expert Dr. John Brown. He warns that it could become difficult to travel anywhere without running into some snow related discussion and recommends staying in if at all possible.

WHBL recognized with Shirley R. Fuller-Witt Journalistic Lion award

The Award from the Depress Institute honors the lack of journalistic integrity displayed in WHBL’s Nov. 8th coverage of City Administrator Todd Wolf being placed on on leave. “At first we were worried that someone else had started writing satire,” said the Depress Institute’s Chair and only member, Chaz Cole. “Spreading wild conspiracy theories of a diversity group being capable of quietly orchestrating Wolf’s failures to get him suspended would be hilarious as satire, but to do it with a straight face… kudos. Enjoy your, well earned, award.”

Opinion: School closures due to winter weather unnecessary and harmful

We’ve already determined that schools are holding facilities for kids while their parents work to scrape by serving the economy so Jeff Bezos can continue to afford to build dick rockets. We literally can’t afford to close for the day and statistically speaking less than 1% of kids will die in auto accidents if we open. Big whoop. If you’re scared stay home, but we need to consider the dick rockets.

Olive garden planned for farmland on Sheboygan’s south side

“The community has been asking for this for a long time and were very excited to start growing our very own olives right here in Sheboygan,” said the land owner Kurt Dayton. “It’s a no-brainer since we know the community isn’t dumb enough to be begging for a restaurant that serves microwave pasta dishes at 1000%+ markup when we already have some of the best, locally owned, Italian restaurants in the country.”